My Thoughts

My expectations for traveling abroad were extremely high. I know that travel is a privilege, experiences forever treasured in my parents’ photo albums around the house, my heavy fragile box of thirty snow globes collected throughout my youngest years, and the tiny electronic squares of precious landscape on influencers’ Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok accounts.

 

Sometimes, my snow globes would break.

 

Packed in saran wrap and tissue paper, sometimes one would shatter as I took it out of my backpack to pass through security at the airport. Or, one would accidentally fall out of my hands as I grabbed it off the shelf to shake and watch the glitter fly around the glass. I remember when my brand new Seattle snow globe broke. I was five years old. I threw a temper tantrum at the airport, telling my mother we had to fly back so I could buy a new one. Did I really think a snow globe erased the memories and stories from my first cross country trip?  

 

My immediate family loves to travel. My father just crossed off all fifty states, touching down in North Dakota this past June 2022. My father made this goal a dream of his when he was just ten years old. He moved eight times in his early years, when his father got a new job teaching statistics at the start of more school years than he would’ve preferred. He lived in four states: Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Michigan by the time he turned ten years old.  My mother, accompanying my father on his bucket list of places and making it her own, just crossed off her 45th state. My 29 year-old brother, Micah, studied abroad in Tel Aviv, Israel, recounting stories of the best five months of his life and his favorite destination in the world. My other brother Jared, now 31 years-old, started a business in the Dominican Republic where he travels there just about every three weeks, racking up his frequent flier points. He is a well versed traveler, having travelled to Morocco, Thailand, and South Africa and taking advantage of every work and business school trip. My parents have always wanted me to explore the world and continue breaking ground setting new goals. Now, my father wants to set foot on every continent; after that, he will want to travel to every country.. Then every state… then every city. My mother, brothers and I know it sounds impossible, but we can’t tell him that. 

 

I always assumed that when the time came to study abroad my junior year of college at the University of Michigan, that I would do it. When the time came to even think about it, this imaginary dream felt impossible.

 

The world shut down.

 

Travel was restricted, Covid-19 spread amongst every country, and life was unpredictable. The pandemic sent me home from my freshman year on March 21, 2020 and I spent sophomore year quarantined three separate times.  As a 20 year-old junior in 2021, planning my winter semester in Europe, I felt frustrated spending time and energy making decisions about an abroad experience that I wasn't even sure would happen.

 

I had zero expectations.

 

I knew I was not excited as I should be. The state of the world was so unclear that I already mentally decided I definitely wasn't going to be able to have this experience. And, after losing an entire "normal" year of college, I rationalized the idea of not studying abroad by telling my family that I would be "making up for lost time" and spending a semester at school with my friends. I went on with planning a hypothetical semester anyway.

 

My family radiated with excitement at the thought of me traveling around Europe with my closest friends. I finally had this window of opportunity my family believed to be closed for so long. I could not relay my anxieties about the language barrier, culture shock, or spending time away from home for the longest period of time to date, especially in a foreign country. Everyone told me I was lucky. I couldn't take any day trip or experience for granted during this "once in a lifetime experience". What made this once in a lifetime opportunity so special?  

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I was never truly set on studying abroad in one city. I grew up learning how to speak Spanish, so I assumed I would study somewhere Spanish was the native language. I found myself stuck between two basic cities, completely different yet similar at the same time. Barcelona, home to La Sagrada Familia and Park Guell, bustling with Americanized vibes and tourists laying out at the W Hotel on the beach. Barcelona is closer to Central Europe, so it would be easier to travel in and out and harbors the lazier, beachside lifestyle attracting vacationers from all over the world. Or… Madrid, a multicultural city home to museums comparable to the Louvre like the Prado Museum and Reina Sofia and surrounded by nature and parks. Madrid may be a harder lifestyle to adjust to, with a more traditional immersive Spanish culture, but has the aspect of controlled tourism that would make living here so special and individual. 

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I chose Madrid.

 

I wanted a balance. I wanted the fun night life and social aspects, but I also wanted to explore museums and sites and fully immerse myself in rich Spanish history and culture. Born and raised in Miami, I also did not want the same beach scenery I see everyday at home nor did I want to be surrounded by rowdy vacationers.

 

With this decision came hours and hours of planning. I had many preconceived notions before studying abroad, nervously reading the passed down travel guides with restaurant recommendations for the foodies, must see sights, and where to stay. I heard that traveling through Europe is easy to plan, travel life and hotels in Europe are cheap, the neighborhoods in Madrid are safe and quiet, crime levels are low, the police are there to help you not target you, and to say yes to every trip and every experience with no hesitation because you are only abroad once.  

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"It is the time of your life."

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While I encountered many difficult situations that pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me feel afraid, I still would not rate my experience negatively. The so called “problems” I encountered had nothing to do with the beautiful cities I visited. Rather, they had to do with the people. No one tells you how to navigate the people; they only tell you how to navigate the place. They pass down itineraries with long lists of how to's and where to's: how to navigate the metro system, how to choose an airline, where to shop, where to eat, and where to stay. How to navigate the people inhabiting each place never seems to make it on these lists. It is a component of travel that remains untold. It remains in each story, yet almost nobody thinks about in advance. The Spaniards across Madrid, the Czechs in Prague, the Dutch in Amsterdam, and the French in Paris, all kept getting in the way. 

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I would not trade it for the world. My purpose is to create awareness about the possibilities of tough times, not to erase any memories. The hard days and dark nights taught me so much about myself so that I can learn for the future and better prepare for these cherished experiences.

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Of course, I had some of the experiences I imagined I would have. Then, I had some of the experiences I just did not see coming - the ones I wish would've remained imaginary until they happened.

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It's okay if my snow globes break.

 

Glass is meant to break.

 

It is not a metaphor for my broken travels.